I don’t know how it has been for you, however for me the “healing journey” that has included a variety of chronic conditions has felt like a never ending burdensome task. Why just have one when you can have many? It felt like one thing after the other. It thought that I was insufficient … not doing enough … doing too much .. doing the wrong thing … many times I felt broken…. like Humpty Dumpty unable to be put back together again.
Like Bridget in Bridget Jone’s Diary I found myself crying on a red sofa with a bin full of tissues and self help books, I felt all alone and disheartened. As quite frankly these help books did not really help, except in making me feel worse about myself as another five ..seven … nine or ten step process did not provide the healing or relief I was seeking. Change your mind .. change your life … you can go f^^^ yourself!
It is true that our minds are very powerful, however when you are in your sh!t – your mind is not your friend! And trying to make your mind your friend, just does you and your head in.
Way to late and also never too late… I learnt we need to be kinder and more gentle with ourselves first. Being harder on ourselves only makes us hide, bury, deny and repress further. Surprise, surprise …. bashing, berating, guilting, or shaming … or working, fighting and forcing yourself into wellness and health – is not going to happen! Being healthy is asking us to be more of who we are … and right now that just does not feel safe.
Nobody escapes conditioning, and something that needs to be remembered (and not mentioned enough inthis context) is that not all conditioning is ‘bad’ or negative. We are conditioned by our parents, family, culture, society, education, religion (even if you are not religious), media … we are conditioned by all that we come into relationship with. Conditioning is party of a very effective survival adaptation – we do not have to die to work out that something is going to kill us. The less functional aspects of conditioning is where others bend us into being more like them, than ourselves. It helps make it easier for them to handle us. If we align with their beliefs, programs and dysfunctions, we are less likely to challenge them.
What does this have to do with health? When we are not aligned with our truth and what is true and correct for us (what ever that is) we live a lie, loose energy and lack the love and faith in ourselves to navigate life and what is necessary to be healthy and vital.
In reality it does not matter what you do to be healthy. There is no only, one way, or one size fits all in health. What works for others may not work for you. You can try and squeeze your round self into a square hole, or your square self into a star shaped hole… however if it is not your hole, you will not feel WHOLE, there will be gaps and spaces that never feel full.
So get REAL and love yourself first. Align yourself by giving yourself encouragement and support. You are not broken. You are not messed up. What ever is going on for you right now is simply a loving invitation to become aligned with who you truly are and who you truly want to be. Forget about doing right now, attend to you being – be your own best friend, be your attentive confidant , be your support… and find those who celebrate you for being you.